Do you ever feel your love for Jesus seems so small? That’s where I was this morning. I’m constantly pouring head knowledge into my brain about Jesus, but truly knowing Him and loving Him can sometimes seem so distant from my heart.
If you thought the “missionary” surely has this overwhelming love for Jesus day-in-and-day-out I am sorry to burst your bubble. Yes, I love Jesus. But I want to LOVE Jesus. A love that I can’t accurately describe in a blog post.
I finished going through the routine of reading and praying during my God time, but sensed I needed to wait (surprise, surprise) a little while longer. My set-aside-time with God wasn’t quite finished. I started to play some music on my computer, but the volume and audio weren’t sufficient; I wanted the music to surround me. I grabbed my iPod and headphones and increased the volume so I could get lost in the sounds.
In college I grew to love the sound of an orchestra. Probably because I had a dear friend who strongly encouraged me to accompany her to symphonies she was required to attend. I’m grateful for that because I now embrace the beauty of how all these various instruments come together to make music.
This morning I first got lost in the sounds of August’s Rhapsody, a piece from the movie August Rush.
Then, I turned on Here is Our King by the David Crowder Band. I laugh because these songs are so different. One makes you think of graceful dancing and the other makes me want to jump up and down like I’m five years old.
Yet both stir God’s Spirit in me, an anticipation of His movement in this world and in my life. And I worship. As He stirs within me, I will grow into a bigger LOVE.
what do you do all day?
Occasionally, people ask me how I occupy my time since I don’t have an 8 to 5 job. That’s an excellent question! I’m not sure there is a typical day because sometimes you never know what will come, whether you look at them as opportunities or interruptions. I’ve looked at them both ways during the last few months. But here is what a typical day might look like: 6 a.m. – I’m awake. Drink coffee and watch Fox News with Dad.
around 7:15 – God-time, a combination of reading through the Bible and completing a Bible study on Esther, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!
9:30- run at the gym or outside; or strength training
10:30 – shower
11- begin missions-related tasks such as: blog, thank you notes, appointment letters, prepare for presentations, phone calls, e-mails, any GEM paperwork needed, and sometimes even involves meetings with people for lunch or coffee.
12:30- eat lunch
afternoon- work on German (I’m taking an online German class through Skype!); or I may leave to go somewhere and make a presentation; or make more phone calls/e-mails/followups; or work on Web editing for Magazine Training International (a little money I make on the side).
18:00-21:00- I’m either at a Bible study, serving with the youth or taking hold of opportunities to meet and get to know more people in my church. Next week many of my evenings will be filled with putting makeup on the men who play the disciples in what’s called the Easter Passion at my church. These men have to be caked in muddy makeup so they will look like they have a dark complexion.
The weekdays and weekends vary, but I’m thankful for the now, even when it feels like someone pressed pause on my life. Sometimes I miss not having an 8 to 5 job, but I’m grateful I can wear my pj’s instead of pantyhose! 😉 God has scattered many blessings into this season of my life.
join me in the struggle
“I know that when I come to you, I will come in the full measure of the blessing of Christ. I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me” (Romans 15:29-30).
These two verses are back-to-back, but not usually paired. I don’t like to take scripture out of context, so please go back and read all of Romans 15 to get the gist of what Paul’s talking about here. He desires to visit the church in Rome on his way to Spain. But I believe Paul realizes that he can have plans, but it’s God who truly directs his way.
These verses stuck out to me because as I wait on God for the timing of Austria I believe that when it comes it will be in the full measure of His blessing. Sort of like the music in August’s Rhapsody as it builds and builds and climaxes. There is a symphonic building happening in my life. I don’t claim to understand it, but faintly hear it.
And the second verse is a call for you to join me. This is a struggle. Hey, we live in a society that doesn’t like to wait for anything. I need you to pray with me through this struggle and journey so God will give me the strength and endurance to not only step, but dance.
Have a wonderful day!
One thought on “tangled in my headphones”
this was so encouraging! i loved reading through your blog