I pulled into a shopping center parking lot today and expected to dart straight across driving past Target, Old Navy and a few other shops to get to Best Buy. However I only drove a few feet in front of Target and came to a barricade and a detour sign. This part of the parking lot had just been paved and was completely roped off. So I went around and followed the detour signs to the back of the parking lot. Then I thought, I’ll now be able to jet across and find a parking spot in front of Best Buy. When I again came to another detour sign. Now I’m saying out loud, “Am I ever going to get there??” a bit frustrated and yet at the same time laughing. I finally found a parking spot as close to Best Buy as I could get and when I got out of the car it was like God saying, Yep, I know this is how you feel right now. Seems like I’m taking you on detours. But there is purpose in every step. I had just talked to a friend only 30 minutes before about God’s leading and not understanding what He is up to or what this part of the journey will even look like.
“Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people,” (Luke 2:52). Last night I went to youth group at my church where I used to serve a couple years ago. The youth pastor talked about Jesus and how sometimes it’s easy for us to think of Him as fully God and yet struggle more with thinking of Him as fully man. Yet, he pointed out in this verse that “Jesus grew . . .” Even Jesus grew and had to learn how to rely on God, growing in favor with God and with people. This scripture for me brings Jesus even closer to where I’m at right now. It doesn’t just put Him beside me holding my hand, but puts Him in my footprints, right where I’m standing. He knows. He understands. He learned and grew. There was purpose in every one of His steps, and I would imagine the fully-man side of Him wondered what some of His detours were all about.
Why wait three days to go see His sick friend, Lazarus, when He could’ve gone immediately, directly? Because there was something bigger planned than healing the sick (John 11). God wanted to raise the dead. Why did He stop in the outcast town of Samaria and meet a woman at the well (John 4)? Because there was something bigger in store for this woman besides the physical water she craved. Jesus wanted to satisfy her soul. Why did Jesus not play His “God-card” hanging on the cross when He could’ve easily saved Himself from the pain and torture? Because there was something much bigger at stake — having a relationship with us (Romans 3:21-30)!
I was reminded today that I don’t know what God has in store or what miracles whether they be internal or external that He has planned. But there is a great possibility that behind that detour sign is something bigger.
What’s the definite treatment plan?
Right now the hope is to start treatment on Wednesday and Thursday, but my insurance is still pending, and would appreciate your prayers about that. I should know more tomorrow (Tuesday). If I do start treatment this week then it will be two days of chemo (which is one treatment) every four weeks with a total of approximately five treatments.
How are you?
I’ve only been back a week and have felt like I’m living in a dream. I’m sure some of that is jet-lag, but the other part is trying to process all that has happened in such a short amount of time. I’ve had my share of melt-downs and really sweet moments with family and friends. I’m dealing with a whole slew of various emotions, questions and thoughts. It can all be overwhelming and is much better when I simplify and take one day at a time. I knew there was a good reason why we’re supposed to live in that mindset! Know that I may not respond to this situation the way you think I should respond or would expect me to respond, but that God is guiding me every step of the way, and bringing the right people at the right time to journey with me. I trust that He will lead me to every place I need to go and stop and learn and grow, whether that’s emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. These aren’t detours to Him.
How long will you be here?/ When are you going back to Austria?
Honestly, I don’t know, only God does. I need to get through this first step of these five treatments and reevaluate my health with my oncologist along the way, and especially after concluding these treatments. Believe me that when I have more answers for you I will let you know.
What can I do to help?
Prayer is the top thing on the list of how you can help, but I know some of you would like to help in a tangible/practical way. We have a list that we would be glad to e-mail you if you’re interested in ways you could help. Just e-mail my mom at pami11753 @ aol.com. (I put spaces in between the parts to this e-mail address, so it wouldn’t be scanned and her receive more spam e-mail. So please don’t include those spaces when you try and e-mail her.) Use the subject line: I’d like the Krish List.
There is no pressure whatsoever to make this request. I’m so thankful for all of you joining me in prayer all around the world. That’s the good way of overwhelming me!!
Did you get my e-mail?
Yes, I probably did get your e-mail or Facebook message or comment on my blog post, but I haven’t had a chance to respond to all of them yet. Thanks for your patience!! Thanks for taking the time to send me your prayers, scriptures, words of encouragement, thoughts, hugs from afar, etc. I really appreciate it!!
Hope you have a great week! And I’ll keep you posted as the week continues.