Well, this morning I was admitted to Markey Cancer Center in Lexington, Ky. This begins a new adventure, one that is full of unknowns to me, but full of knowns to God. I anticipated these past few days to be some of the toughest because of “lasts.” Yet, why am I surprised that some of these last few days have been more full of laughter than tears. Not that tears are bad, because I’m learning to embrace tears and that they are just as beautiful as smiles and laughter. I’m thankful to God for the laughing moments!
Tomorrow I begin chemotherapy and as a result will lose my hair. Because I knew this was coming I decided to dye my hair purple. Why purple? Well, my niece Khloe decided on the color. So on Monday, May 20 I became the purple-hair-lady. Not only did my hair get transformed into a purplish-tint, but my scalp became purple too, very purple!! Here are some pictures of this purple-party:
On Memorial Day morning I had my brother Kevin shave my head, so I don’t have to deal with large chunks of hair coming out while I’m in the hospital. He was the first to discover how purple my head really was. He joked about wanting to dip my head in paint-thinner to get the purple off. Instead, I went to my friend, Tammy’s house and had her scrub my head and use hair-dye-removal wipes. It took a good 30 minutes, and quite a bit of scrubbing, but my head looks more normal now.
What could have been a traumatic situation was hilarious! I love it when God works that way. He has a way of surprising me with the needed laughter in hard moments.
This will give you an idea of what the next week will look like.
May 29-June 3: chemotherapy (Pac-Man-ing could last anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours each day. The days vary. Usually chemo will start at 8 or 9 a.m. EST just to give you an idea of how to pray and when.
June 4: will be my transplant day. This will be my new birthday! Bring on the cake!!
June 5- June 17 (approximately- could be longer or shorter) – my lowest count days; which means my immune system will really be compromised until the new cells find their way to my bone marrow and start making new cells.
crying out to Him
With a new birthday, this also means my immune system will be similar to an infant. But even more than my physical body, I’m wondering how God will teach me to cry out to Him, through this journey. So many people have asked me if I’m ready for this. I usually respond with I guess so, but really the answer is no. How can I possibly be ready for something so life-altering? How can I be ready for something that is chock-full of unknowns? But I do know Who knows and understands and is ready to handle anything, and give me the strength, peace and hope to keep going.
Look what this missions-minded guy, Paul, experienced when traveling to Asia: “We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters,about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).
Sometimes I may not have a clue what to pray in the days and weeks to come, but I can cry out to Him, like a child, like an infant. I can cry out to Him who raises the dead. My God is HUGE! He can’t be compared to any other god, or power or being. I don’t know what’s coming, but He does and even when it’s easier said than done, I must believe He is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.
I can let go of trying to muster up the strength to make it through and cry out to Him, how will He give me what I need? How will He wow me today through His work in me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I appreciate your prayers.
Thank you for joining me on this journey!