dark chocolate celebrations

Hi friends! It’s been more than four months since I’ve written a post. Some of you have continued to follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, but I know others of you may wonder what happened to me and how you can join me in praying. Thank you for your continued prayers and concern. I’m so blessed by each of you! Thank you!

June 5 marked my one year post-transplant. Leading up to this moment I found myself stuck in this tension of not really ready to celebrate. Cancer truly turned my world upside-down, some ways are truly a gift from God and I wouldn’t trade the many gifts I’ve been blessed with through cancer. And yet some of those ways are very hard and they still bring me to tears. I may never understand this side of heaven what God’s awesome plan is in all of this, but HE still remains faithful. 

A few days before June 5, God led me back to Psalm 118. 

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever…. In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and HE answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; He is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man…. The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: ‘The Lord’s right hand has done mighty things! The Lord’s right hand is lifted high; the Lord’s right hand has done mighty things!’ 

“I will not die but LIVE, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.” (Psalm 118:1, 5-8, 14-17)

So that last verse, I had read and written out beside it in my Bible: 9-4-2012, possible relapse. I was still living in Austria at the time and every day was a new test, scan, discussion with my oncologist about what I needed to do next. A lot hung in the balance and I didn’t know at that point if I would ever come back to Austria, even to pack up my own apartment. And God gave me this verse, and He was already telling me then, Krishana you’re going to make it through this and your responsibility after is to proclaim Me, to make Me famous for what I have done. When you’re feeling sorry for yourself, God stepping on your toes and reminding you what this life is really all about will give you perspective. 

And so now it’s about figuring out how to proclaim what HE has done in big and small ways each day. Maybe it’s a conversation or an opportunity to share with high school students. Maybe it will be through more writing and speaking. I have no idea, but am watching for the opportunities HE leads me to. 

This post-transplant season has been like dark chocolate. With each hurdle and victory there is some bitter and there is some sweet. It’s rich and sometimes you can’t handle too much of it. 

But through the bitter-sweet, HE is helping me celebrate! So pass the dark chocolate, please! 🙂

On Monday, June 16 I had my follow-up bone marrow biopsy. The procedure went really well and I don’t remember anything!! Praise Jesus!! On Wednesday, June 18 I found out that this biopsy didn’t show any cancer cells in the bone marrow. This is a huge praise to God!! Thank You, Jesus!! 

I return to the University of Kentucky in September for another follow-up appointment and I would imagine by that time, if not before, I should find out if my bone marrow is still at 100% of my donor’s cells. 

My blood counts have fluctuated a lot in the last month. On Wednesday I had excellent counts!! Just pray that those white cells continue to grow strong and multiply!! 

So today I did a little celebrating. I had a mani and pedi! This is not something I can do when my counts are low, so I enjoyed this moment of pampering. 

I’m definitely enjoying summertime, since I didn’t get to really enjoy this time last summer. Lots of time swimming, hanging with friends and family and watching a ton of little league baseball games. Hopefully I will begin working part-time in the months to come and easing my way back into a 40-hour work week. My energy level is fairly good, and hope to eventually get back to my half-marathon -running-goals in another six months or so. Gotta build up my stamina and lung capacity. There is so much to praise Him for!! 

Thank you again for journeying with me and for your prayers and e-mails and texts and just the love you’ve shown me in countless ways, especially these last 4 years! 

2 thoughts on “dark chocolate celebrations

  1. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Rejoicing with you, Krishana on all He has done in and through you during this chapter in your life. He truly makes everything beautiful in His time, and we look forward to seeing what the next chapter looks like in the months ahead. Love, Dave and Jan

  2. Krishy!!! Thank you for your post. Psalm 130 really cheered me up about my work situation! (i can't compare that to cancer of course). I miss you,
    biiig hug, karin (Wien)

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