Recently, a friend and I walked in a local park. We talked and laughed while we walked, which made the miles go by faster. On our first mile this monarch butterfly flew around us. I smiled. Then later, before our walk had ended, the same type of butterfly flew close to our heads.
I guess I could describe these last couple of years as a “cocoon season.” There have been moments when life was really dark, and I didn’t know how anything beautiful would ever come from cancer. Besides spiritually, at times I had to be in a sort of “cocoon” physically. I had to stay home and keep my distance from the public because my immune system was compromised. I missed out on fun events and even gave up hugs for almost five months.
But besides God’s cocoon of taking me aside to HIS side, I found myself in another type of cocoon – one that was Krishana-made. This cocoon wasn’t a place of gentle preparation, but a place of frustration. I constructed it by the web of ways I defined my identity.
As more and more pieces of my life had been taken from me, from hairs on my head to dreams of living in Austria, I reevaluated where I found my identity and purpose. My type of building and rebuilding myself didn’t work. It only had me tangled and trapped.
But God’s way of rebuilding me is perfect. His cocoon is one of unfailing love and His presence. There is security in that type of architecture.
The book of Galatians talks a lot about freedom. “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again . . .” (Galatians 5:1 NLT).
As I watched that butterfly cross my path multiple times that day, I sensed God speaking to my heart, “Krishana, it’s time to fly!”
I am beginning to understand that God is more concerned about freedom than destination. More than where I should live, work or how I should I spend my time, God wants me to BE FREE. He wants me to know that I am His jewel, and that I belong to Him. If I’m living out of that identity then it won’t matter what happens next because it’s bound to be as beautiful and free as a butterfly!
God is not only rebuilding me on the inside He has begun rebuilding various pieces of my life. About a month ago I resumed serving as a youth leader for my church’s high school ministry. I co-lead a group of freshmen girls and am loving every minute!
Earlier this month, I shared my story with a cancer care support group. Taking the time to prepare and articulate what God had done the last four years was so encouraging to my heart. I looked back on old journals and delivered a message of Christ’s hope to those in attendance.
Currently, I’m searching for a new job/position in the communications/journalism field. At this point I’m not sure where I’ll land, but will keep you posted. If you know of someone who might have a need for the skills I offer please send me a private message and I’ll send you my resume and writing samples.
I’d love for you to join me in prayer as I seek God in where HE wants me next. But even more than destination, pray that I would seek HIM – passionately, diligently, and consistently.
Have a wonderful week!